so off i trot to auckland university, starting semester 1, 2008. BA in Film/TV & Media, here i come. or so i thought. here i am, 1 year 2 months since that saga began, no longer at uni, working full time at an automotive parts store which is run by a seemingly dirty used car salesman.
uni life went good for the first semester, i really dug myself into what i was doing, managed a few A's in there which kept my spirits up. met a lot of awesome people who were a lot friendlier than expected. semester 2 dragged itself in after exams sucked the life out of me and i was starting to feel the burn already. things started piling up. i got slack. i got slack because i didn't like what i was doing. i didn't like what i was doing because i wasn't interested in it.
i was yet to find this out however.
so new years was fast approaching after 2nd semester exams, of course i couldn't have been happier to have all that crap over and done with. new years 2009 arrived, which i spent with my 3 best friends, and then i wind up back in the lecture theaters of 2009 AU.
i am now a 2nd year uni student. such an accomplishment i probably kept telling myself.
then bang. 2nd week of 1st semester 09 and it hit me. i had been bored since about the 2nd day back. i thought to myself
"what the hell is the point of me sitting in this sociology lecture about criminals when i'm staring at the clock and how crooked the lecturers glasses are rather than what shes actually babbling about".
so stuff it. what really was the point of completing a degree i wasn't happy in. working hours on end of assignments i didn't really give two shits about. and trying to decipher between the lecturers groans and actual speech.
and that was when everything changed. flipped. upped and overed.
within a matter of minutes, i had already decided that i was going to withdraw from uni, get a full time job for a few months, head to europe for another few, and then do what i had always wanted to do, go to film school on the shore next year.
it really intrigues me how we can make such seemingly rash decisions so quickly and so easily one day and not the next. i'd probably be right in thinking that if i hadn't of had that slice of toast for breakfast which in turn gave my brain a bit more thinking power, which in turn gave my brain more will power, then i probably wouldn't have made that decision and would still be at uni today.
people always seem to get themselves into the biggest of pickles and yet the answer is often so clear and right in front of them that you'd think they were stupid for not noticing earlier.
it seems that for so long we have had to make each decision we make in life so carefully, that now we are all so tired of that 'careful decision making process' that we would rather just stay where we are, perhaps suffering, than making that possibly life saving decision.
how many people do you know that hate their job or hate what they're studying at school or university. people say it all the time, usually with a humorous twist to make the blow easier on themselves, but when it comes down to it, they really mean what they say, or else they most likely wouldn't have thought of it and then had the brains to say it. but you already knew that.
change is often something that many people loose control of. they get behind the wheel of it and then for some reason let go. i think it's about time more of us un-clammed those nervous hands and took control.
or at least, thats what i'm trying to do.
X
No comments:
Post a Comment